This accurately sums up my weekend. How was yours? This accurately sums up my weekend. How was yours?
It’s been a challenge to find joy this week. But It’s been a challenge to find joy this week. But Black Joy has been my mission. Most of the people in my life have been overwhelmed and exhausted by constant grief, fear, and disrespect. Many of us have been reminded of the times we were pulled over by cops for driving while Black or the times we’ve feared for our parents, siblings, children, cousins, and other friends and family members. Sometimes it feels like we are all stuck in this cycle, doomed to witness and experience Black suffering and trauma forever. I have to constantly remind myself that times haven’t changed but we ARE changing things. We have to. And until those changes really take place permanently, I’m choosing Black Joy whenever I can. Because Black Joy is resistance. 

Here’s where I was able to find joy this week:

🤍 Interviewing @majorcreates + @tiffanydbrown_, two dynamic and talented  Black women for @heartandhustlepodcast.

🤍 Long chats with @studio404design about everything under the sun. 

🤍 The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and how unapologetically Black it is. 

🤍 Texting Marvel memes back and forth with @mmalikaj who is FINALLY obsessed with Marvel. My hard work has paid off! 👏🏽

🤍 Trying to recreate @eatatbento at home since we live in DC now. 

🤍 Reading The Gilded Ones. 

🤍 Knowing that @bohemianseoul is moving east! 

If you are Black, where did you find joy this week? If you aren’t Black, we’re you able to bring joy to a person who is Black this week or amplify a voice celebrating Black joy?
We receive hate, lies, injustice, and death. But We receive hate, lies, injustice, and death. 

But we deserve joy.

So many of us are reaching new levels of exhaustion because of the continued attacks on our community by those who are being paid to protect us. There are some days where our situation feels impossible. On those days, please take the time out to do one small thing that brings you joy. As Black people, we have to experience and carry so much trauma while living in this country. But we deserve joy. We deserve joy.
I’ve been spending every free moment chasing gor I’ve been spending every free moment chasing gorgeous blooms. I know they don’t last long so I’m trying to enjoy them as much as a can while they are here. It’s a great reminder to live in the moment and enjoy your life right now.
Lately I’ve been meditating, manifesting, and do Lately I’ve been meditating, manifesting, and doing a little bit of yoga before I even get out of bed. Yes, you heard that right, I do bed yoga. Doing these simple things before I leave the comfort of my bed have really been helping me feel like I can take on anything during the day. Do you do anything special in the morning that makes you feel more equipped to handle the day?
I’m so happy that the weather is consistently co I’m so happy that the weather is consistently cooperating and we can get out to explore more! I’m usually a homebody but being stuck inside this past winter has really made me appreciate every good weather day so much more than I ever have before. The best thing about being in a new city is that everything is new to me so even staying close to home feels like an adventure.
Drinking my way through Orlando with all the best Drinking my way through Orlando with all the best teas!🧋
Home is whenever I’m with you. 🤍🍵 @qreatec Home is whenever I’m with you. 🤍🍵 @qreatecoffee
Happy first day of spring! Most of the blooms aren Happy first day of spring! Most of the blooms aren’t out yet in the DC area but that didn’t stop us from spending every moment we could outside today. I am SO happy that winter is officially over and I can’t wait to twirl around under cherry blossoms in a few weeks.
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
    • Life
    • Travel
    • Well Read
    • Wellness
    • Business
    • Photography
  • Contact

Charismatic Concepts

  • Life
  • Travel
  • Well Read
  • Wellness
  • Business
  • Photography

Personal · May 21, 2014

Married without Children

MarriedWithoutChildren

Evidence that John and I actually DO love children. (You know, outside of John being a teacher and me working in the school system for five years). 
 
 1. John and our nephew, Alijah on our last trip to Miami. 2. John and I with our Goddaughter at the Magic Kingdom after watching the 3 o’clock parade. 3. Reading a book we gave our Goddaughter. She LOVES Minnie Mouse! 4. Me and my younger brothers. Our seven and a half year age gap means that I spent a lot of time taking care of them. One of my brothers even gets me Mother’s Day gifts to thank me! Isn’t that sweet?
 

This July, John and I will celebrate five years of wedded bliss and October will mark our nine-year anniversary as a couple. Even with these milestones ahead of us, John and I still do not have plans for children in the immediate future. This is of no major concern to neither John nor I, as we both currently love our relationship, our careers, our traveling plans, our family, our friends, and our lives. However, there are some people who simply cannot wrap their heads around the idea that John and I have chose to wait to have children or the fact that some couples choose not to have children at all.

It didn’t take long for people to start questioning me about when I am going to have children. I feel like I barely made it down the aisle before people were questioning when I would enter motherhood. While many people would ask if it is something we have thought about and accept that we are currently not interested, others have been much more persistent.

One of the reasons that John and I do not currently have children is that we are both really busy in our careers. Neither of us wants to take any time off at such critical points in our careers. Also, despite loving what we do for a living, we both would like to earn more money before having children. Even after voicing these concerns, we are often met with statements like, “You will never have enough money for children” and “You’ll just have to make time”. People often insinuate that it is impossible to put enough money away to be comfortable with your decision to have a child and that there is no way that there will ever be a right time. I know that many couples get pregnant before they plan to and they can definitely find a way to make it work. However, I also know couples whom have planned, saved money, had children at a time that worked best for them, and are very happy with the results of that decision. Regardless of what people end up doing, I feel like it is a deeply personal choice that should be made by the two people who will be raising the child.

Even worse than the pressure to “just have a kid, already”, are the people who assume that I am not able to biologically have children. Time and time again I have been asked if I am infertile. To my knowledge I am not but I can’t imagine how devastating it must be for someone to be asked that question who is infertile and desperately wants a biological child. If people are asking me this question, they are undoubtedly asking it of someone who actually is struggling with this. Why someone would think it is appropriate to ask a woman who they do not know all that well about her fertility remains a mystery to me. What I also find interesting is that no one is interested in questioning John’s ability to conceive. In fact, most people assume that I am infertile or I don’t want a child when really, I think John is less enthusiastic about having children in the near future than I am.

My favorite is when I answer every question with as much information as I can and stand by my decision to not have children yet and my answers are met with a threat: “Just watch. It is going to happen anyways. You can’t control it.” Now I am not a scientist or a doctor but the general consensus is that many forms of birth control are highly effective when used properly. I have quite a few friends and family members who have had unexpected but happy pregnancies and all but one was not properly using birth control. Is it possible that it could happen to John and I? Sure. Is it probable? Not really. Should you laugh in the face of someone who doesn’t currently want children and tell them it doesn’t matter what they want? Not at all.

Whether we have children next year or five years from now, I will be sure to only involve John and I in the decision making process. We already plan to adopt at least one child and I know that with that will come a new set of ridiculous questions and demands. In the mean time, we will continue to be surrounded by the awesome children of our friends and family, the students that John teachers, and the high school students that I mentor. Luckily, we both know that you don’t need to have your own children in order to believe that children are wonderful.

In: Personal · Tagged: childless, children, married and childless, married without children

join the club

You’ll Also Love

August Goals
Saying Goodbye to my childhood hero, Robin Williams
Update: 27 Before 28
Next Post >

A New Brand Identity and The Fault In Our Stars Giveaway

Hi! I'm Charisma, a creative entrepreneur who loves to help others reach their full potential. I'm a photographer, a writer, and the owner of Kismet + Charisma, an online boutique that pairs minimalist, cozy, boho style with activism. In my little corner of the internet you'll find my latest travels, what I'm currently reading, how I practing Black joy as resistence, and how I'm finding hygge in my daily life. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of tea, and stay awhile.

join the club

Categories

  • Life
  • Travel
  • Well Read
  • Wellness
  • Business
  • Photography

Reader Favorites

  • Portraits | Jacob Tobia
  • 10 Reasons You Should Never Be Bored
  • The REAL Wizarding World: Greyfriars Kirkyard

trending now

  • Portraits | Jacob Tobia
  • 10 Reasons You Should Never Be Bored
  • The REAL Wizarding World: Greyfriars Kirkyard
  • The REAL Wizarding World: Victoria Street AKA Diagon Alley

instagram

Follow @charismaokeefe

This accurately sums up my weekend. How was yours? This accurately sums up my weekend. How was yours?
It’s been a challenge to find joy this week. But It’s been a challenge to find joy this week. But Black Joy has been my mission. Most of the people in my life have been overwhelmed and exhausted by constant grief, fear, and disrespect. Many of us have been reminded of the times we were pulled over by cops for driving while Black or the times we’ve feared for our parents, siblings, children, cousins, and other friends and family members. Sometimes it feels like we are all stuck in this cycle, doomed to witness and experience Black suffering and trauma forever. I have to constantly remind myself that times haven’t changed but we ARE changing things. We have to. And until those changes really take place permanently, I’m choosing Black Joy whenever I can. Because Black Joy is resistance. 

Here’s where I was able to find joy this week:

🤍 Interviewing @majorcreates + @tiffanydbrown_, two dynamic and talented  Black women for @heartandhustlepodcast.

🤍 Long chats with @studio404design about everything under the sun. 

🤍 The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and how unapologetically Black it is. 

🤍 Texting Marvel memes back and forth with @mmalikaj who is FINALLY obsessed with Marvel. My hard work has paid off! 👏🏽

🤍 Trying to recreate @eatatbento at home since we live in DC now. 

🤍 Reading The Gilded Ones. 

🤍 Knowing that @bohemianseoul is moving east! 

If you are Black, where did you find joy this week? If you aren’t Black, we’re you able to bring joy to a person who is Black this week or amplify a voice celebrating Black joy?
We receive hate, lies, injustice, and death. But We receive hate, lies, injustice, and death. 

But we deserve joy.

So many of us are reaching new levels of exhaustion because of the continued attacks on our community by those who are being paid to protect us. There are some days where our situation feels impossible. On those days, please take the time out to do one small thing that brings you joy. As Black people, we have to experience and carry so much trauma while living in this country. But we deserve joy. We deserve joy.
I’ve been spending every free moment chasing gor I’ve been spending every free moment chasing gorgeous blooms. I know they don’t last long so I’m trying to enjoy them as much as a can while they are here. It’s a great reminder to live in the moment and enjoy your life right now.
Lately I’ve been meditating, manifesting, and do Lately I’ve been meditating, manifesting, and doing a little bit of yoga before I even get out of bed. Yes, you heard that right, I do bed yoga. Doing these simple things before I leave the comfort of my bed have really been helping me feel like I can take on anything during the day. Do you do anything special in the morning that makes you feel more equipped to handle the day?
I’m so happy that the weather is consistently co I’m so happy that the weather is consistently cooperating and we can get out to explore more! I’m usually a homebody but being stuck inside this past winter has really made me appreciate every good weather day so much more than I ever have before. The best thing about being in a new city is that everything is new to me so even staying close to home feels like an adventure.
Drinking my way through Orlando with all the best Drinking my way through Orlando with all the best teas!🧋
Home is whenever I’m with you. 🤍🍵 @qreatec Home is whenever I’m with you. 🤍🍵 @qreatecoffee
Happy first day of spring! Most of the blooms aren Happy first day of spring! Most of the blooms aren’t out yet in the DC area but that didn’t stop us from spending every moment we could outside today. I am SO happy that winter is officially over and I can’t wait to twirl around under cherry blossoms in a few weeks.
Happy Gotcha Day @valkyrieambrosonokeefe! I truly Happy Gotcha Day @valkyrieambrosonokeefe! I truly don’t know how we would have made it through this year without you! You are the sweetest, happiest, cuddliest dog ever. 🤍🐾

Explore

  • About
  • Podcast
  • Services

join the club

On the Blog

  • Travel
  • Well Read
  • Photography
  • Business
  • About
  • Contact

Copyright © 2021 Charismatic Concepts · Theme by 17th Avenue